Sick In Flight

I've been on a whirlwind work trip for the last week.

Minneapolis to Chicago

Chicago to LA

LA to Minneapolis

Trouble is I'm terribly sick. If I were at home and feeling like this I would call in sick. So what do you do when you're traveling for work? You can't call in sick. You just have to power through and let me tell you first hand it SUCKS.

I'm gonna take some niquil and tuck in for the evening and it's only 5:00 LA time.

Happy Bird Day

I'm attempting the thanksgiving meal this year. Should be interesting considering that the pie has been in the oven only 30 minutes and the power went out on the microwave and the stove.

Yea it's a gas stove, but all the measurements are electrical. Meaning... no power, no turkey.

My lip started to quiver as Mr.M was on his way out the door to head to work. No worries though... we've got a rather large extension cord keeping the turkey day alive.

Have a good one everyone - I'm sure I'll have tales to tell after I burn something or drop something.

Oh - and the lack of posting is totally due to the fact that I worked a 40 hour work week this week.... in 3 days.

Next week I'm in Chicago for two days and then Los Angeles for the rest of the week. This study is kickin my ass.

Jealousy Is My Evil Twin

I went to the previously mentioned baby shower today. I got lost on my way there and I had to deal with my mother all morning. Several times on my way there I called Mr.M and told him I'm not going... I'm giving up.

I finally got to the shower and it was mostly family members with me and another friend of the mom to be's. It was your standard shower with food, cake, and stupid baby games.

As I was watching her open all the presents a burning started in my stomach. No - not indegestion, but good guess.

I realized that at that moment I was on the verge of tears watching my friend open gift after gift of pink fuzzy things. She was glowing - and so happy. I wanted what she had so badly. What kind of awful friend feels jealous at her friend's baby shower. Apparently I'm that kind of friend.

After all the gifts had been opened and I had choked back my tears trying instead to smile and be happy for her ( I really am)her boyfriend (and father of the new baby)told her there was just one more gift.

He got down on one knee and before he could even ask she said YES! and the whole room erupted with cheers. I lost it of course. All that crying I was holding back started really flowing.

After she had gotten her composure and hugged and kissed all the family she came over to me with big crocodile tears in her eyes and said "I'm sorry." Why should she feel sorry for her happiness? Because I'm some spinster of a woman in the corner stewing over my shitty life? I absolutely wouldn't have it.

I gave her a huge hug and we cried and told each other that we loved each other. I'm so dearly happy for my friend. She deserves this happiness. She endured years of hell with her previous husband and this guy - he's got an A+ in my book. He takes care of her and loves her and lets her be herself.

Only problem is... I don't know why I can't stop crying.

Dear Mr. IT Man

Dear Mr. IT Man,
I know you probably already read my blog because - yea, you're just that kind of office IT guy. You probably know what times I read my favorite blogs and how much time I spend on all of them.

This - I have to say, I don't care so much about. If I got dooced I would probably think it was cool rather than a heart break. I really think of it as a badge of honor if nothing else.

My concern that I bring to you today is one simple question.

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO!!!?????

You have your little blue tooth thingy - and ok whatever, if it makes you feel cool or like Data from Star Trek that's fine. What I do know however, is that you're not talking on that thing all the time. MOST of the time you're talking to yourself, as you are right now in the cube next to me.

Who are you asking your questions to??
Direct Quote at this very moment

"Maybe I can look around and find out who is actually connected."
"Guess I'll have to call HP and try to figure out what's going on."

Who are you telling this to? Certainly not me. I also know there is no one in the cube that you're working in - so nope that can't be it.

You really need to work on that whole "inner-dialogue" thing. Your office-mates really don't want to deal with the whole "is he talking to me?" thing anymore.

Work on it.

Sincerely,
So Bringing Head Phones From Now On Suzanne

Hello Again

uh oh.

Here comes that feeling again.

That - "he's never gonna marry me" feeling I get around the holidays.

Then I pressure him and he gets uncomfortable

Then I get upset because he's acting uncomfortable

Then we fight every couple of days about the same thing.

Then we do it again next year.

Trust me I do everything in my power to bury that feeling - to push it from my mind. For some reason the holiday's just make me stew on it.

Neglect

I've neglected my dear blog. The reason is - I'm getting what I asked for.

A few weeks ago I was so bored at work I was BEGGING for something to do. Now I'm so knee deep I don't even remember what it was like to be bored to tears.

It's a taste test that has me spinning this week. The scheduling that goes into this kind of study and the planning - it's insane. It's exciting though. It's the reason I love my job. I get to do something different every week. Studies cover everything from hot sauce to beer, to coffee, to TV's etc etc. I have all of these facts in my brain about all these different products that I will never need to know. But it's cool when I'm watching Jeopardy.

I'll try to be better about the Neglect thing. It's just so nice to not look at a computer screen when you come home from 10 hours of staring at one. I'm reading though - I am reading my fave blogs do break up the endless spreadsheets and pre-recruiting guides.

OH - I forgot to mention. Thanksgiving is at my house this year. That's right, I'm attempting the meal all by myself. THAT should be a good story. I'll be in Chicago the first part of next week. Then in Los Angeles the week after.

Baby shower's (yes plural) on Saturday. I'm sure by the end of the weekend my ovaries will be banging together making a deafening gonging sound. Gotta love that biological clock.

Overstay Your Welcome

Have you ever tried to cut a friend loose from your life?

Some of them just don't want to go I found out last night.

Nene has expressed that she doesn't get enough attention from me. She says that she feels less important than Mr. M.

To which I respond - WELL YEA!

She also doesn't understand why I don't want to stay overnight at her house (an hour away) and go out and party with her

Trying to explain to her that you don't just, not come home, was like speaking to a kindergartner. She wanted to know why I could'nt feel that way about her.

She doesn't get it. She's never been madly in love. Never found her life partner. Never even been in a relationship that lasted longer than a one night stand.

So how do you explain these things to someone like Nene?

On Your Marks

The rush into the holiday season is going to be a doozy for me this year. We were all slogging along at work until WHAM! we were hit with the most studies I have ever seen at one time.

On top of the fact that we are all taking on at least 5 a piece (our max) they are just simple one and done studies. I know this makes no sense to everyone but trust me they are complicated mutherfuckers. Each one requiring travel during the next month.

Next week I have a conference to attend - luckily it's in town. The following week I'm in Chicago then back quick for Thanksgiving. The week after I spend Monday in Chicago and then fly to LA for the next 3 days, then back home.

All of this travel will be happening while I should be maintaining my other 4 studies which will also be transitioning. Then another study that SOMEONE has to take the week after which will be travel to Boston.

THEN - I get a vacation for four days with my sweet man and off we go to Seattle to see his niece who is turning 12!!! OMG she's gonna want a training bra I just know it. I think I'm the "cool aunt" that will be the one who fields those questions too dangit.

I should say thought that a lot of stress has been relieved now that the kitchen is completely done. All doors are on, all drawers in their place and most importantly a pretty new COUNTERTOP!!! We're done people! Do you know what this means??? BAKING GALOOOOORE.

Pics of finished kitchen to come as well as anything I might bake - cause I know you all like to drool over the baked treats. Recipe's are always available if requested - I just figure no body really wants to know that stuff.

Going To The Mattresses

See how bitchy I can be???

Dear Vendor,

I have just had a meeting with my manager regarding your inability to complete this study on time. She and I both feel that this is totally un-acceptable. Your interviewers have been in field on this job for 8 days now and by the end will have been in field for 10 days. That would have been 10 interviews a day if the study was staffed properly.

This study must be completed by the original date we discussed last week which is November 8th. I must have the final questionnaires in my hands by Nov 8th. I have absolutely no more flexibility on this as I can't go back to my client and tell them that once again we must push it back after I have already negotiated this later date with them.

I hope that you can take control of this and get this project completed in the time specified. There is no reason why interviewers shouldn't be there tomorrow and during the day today. You should have staffed this study with people that could work during the day. My original request was that I would have people there from 11:00AM to 10:00PM everyday. If this was something you could not staff you should have given me this information from the start and I would have gone with a different agency.

Is there someone else I should discuss this job with at your company to ensure that it gets completed in the time specified?

Regards,
Suzanne

Odds and Ends

Since I have quite a few things to mention - be prepared to jump around a bit people - come on now.... I know you hate this, but flexibility is the key.

Mr. M informed me today that he has updated his medical will and that I would be the person to decide whether or not to pull the plug on him if by some awful circumstance he was in a vegetative state. So I asked him what he would prefer. He said that I would have to not do what I wanted but to do what he wanted and just pull the damn thing already.

This adding to the fact that last week he wrote out a "will" on his computer stating that he was leaving everything to me if he should have an untimely demise. Although I can't stand the thought and I hate the morbidity (yes its a word - damnit) of the whole thing I do find it comforting. It's as if my boy is moving closer to "us" as in "forever" rather than "eh you're kinda nice to have around".

I am however slightly preterbed with the recent lack of attention I'm being paid. I do have a slight problem with this. I do require more than the average bear. Blame it on middle child syndrome or my age - bottom line I realize I have this issue and I try to keep it in check. It's just that he's trying to get this TV show edited and in the hands of the network. He's busting his butt to make it happen and his partner is a REAL CHORE. Meaning that she requires a hell of a lot of attention too. I'm not threatened by this woman in the slightest - however I am very close to telling her to give us some room please. I need one evening of un-interrupted "us" time and I need her to respect that. Hopefully this will pass and I won't end up flipping out.

Mr. M did call on his way home tonight and totally pegged it. He apologized for all the running around and lack of quality time. He assured me that he appreciated my patience and recognized the sacrifices I was making for his dream. That's all I needed really.

Countertop for the kitchen is scheduled to arrive on Monday and since I have now been without a "real" countertop for going ong almost 4 months I couldn't care less. However, I am exceedingly stressed about how I'm going to get the cabinets level. Since the wall and floor are not at a 90 degree angle and the floor slopes - it seems a bit impossible. I would like to not have to think about this anymore - as it makes my brain hurt.

Speaking of brain usage (nice segue right!!!??) I'm very bored at work and the workload has just not been sufficient for all 3 of us PM (project managers) to keep a steady work flow. It's getting to the rip my hair out stage again. At the end of today's marathon of nothingness we all got a mass email. The CEO that was hired just 3 1/2 months ago to head up our re-organized company has "stepped down". They gave some bullshitty reason why - and to be honest it may be true but I ain't buying anything they're selling lately. Basically the guy was all insane about metrics and I ain't feelin metrics. Hopefully he stepped down because he realized metrics weren't going to work here and not the other reason I can think of. Which is - the people under him were pushing for the metrics and he wasn't really diggin it. Either way - we're in a constant state of transition and it's becoming quite tiresome. I find myself becoming bitter and I thought that surely that would not happen until I had at least hit 30.

Mr. M gave me the loveliest surprise the other day. He was in Vegas completing the editing on the 2nd episode of the show. The 2nd!!! Halloween he has missed spending with me for that show. I think he felt badly. Well - I KNOW he felt badly because he said so. I told him no worries I would hand out candy to the little goblins and everything would be fine. At the end of the evening I was chatting with him on Yahoo Messenger and turned on the webcam to show him the kitten and flash a little boobie. He told me to look in the file cabinet to my right in the last file. There was a pretty pink faux crocodile watch in there - just for me. I asked him how he could have possibly planned that. He said the webcam was a bonus cause he got to see my reaction but the watch had been there all along.

Ok - I think thats it.

OH - except some douche bag stole my cake that I made the other day. I brought it to work and there was half left yesterday so instead of taking the box home to re-use I left it there. This morning it was gone - totally disappeared. What asshole would do that.?!?