Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Good Intentions

I've had plenty of things I could have written about in the past week and a half that I just haven't sat down to actually type. So this will be all jumbly but here goes:
My brother got engaged last week Thursday and then we saw them at Easter when we went to Mom's house. The whole experience allowed me to get a clear picture of just how far I've come since I was in my early twenties. Although his fiance is 32 she has the muturity that I exhibited at 21. She's spastic, knee-jerky, a ranter, a know-it-all, loud, vulgar and interrupts people. This is the exact picture of me at 21 - EXACT!

So - I'm trying to be happy for my brother because I totally get that you end up finding someone who is familiar to you for your life partner. Lets face it this chick is so familiar to me and is a near copy of my mother's neurosis all rolled into one. It's just that he doesn't seem happy. He seems uncomfortable and nervous. Like he's afraid of what she'll say next that might embarrass him.

Maybe she was trying to over impress us - which is fine, I get that. So thats what I'm going to just assume from here on out, while at the same time hoping that she mellows with age since she'll be 'joining' our family and I hope will incorporate herself for the long haul. I wish divorce on no one.


Which brings me to my growth in the past months. I've finished reading "Eat Pray Love" and am now on to "A New Earth". I think it is important that I read these two books in that order because the first very much allows you to have a sort of introductory to enlightenment or at least the process one woman took to find it. The second is more hard core about tackling your own enlightenment, which is a task I expect will take me the rest of my life.

I'm experiencing more calm in my day to day life than I was a few months ago. THis could be that I'm just moving away from the post-partum days but I also attribute it to some serious work I've been doing internally. I experienced my first successful meditation the other day too - which if thats how good it can be I'm all about it.

When I was visiting my mom I went to the beauty school down the street that does spa services as well. Everything is significantly cheaper than going to a regular spa since you'll have students performing the services. I got a facial and it was the most relaxed I've felt in months - maybe even years. During the facial I did some meditation with using a repetitive word I learned in "Eat Pray Love". Now I know what the author means when she says she falls asleep while meditating or SOMETHING. Because it truly isn't sleep but it is SOMETHING. It's like experiencing complete stillness. NO thought, no internal words, nothing. Just complete silence in your mind. I dig it... I REALLY dig it.
On the trip home from my mothers we hit some nasty potholes and I got a flat tire and damaged the other two tires. Now I'm dealing with insurance claims and tire stores to try and get it fixed without paying the $1300 I've shelled out. Even though it was a stressful and not fun situation - I'm not freaked about it at all. I'm just thinking whatever happens is fine as long as we're all safe. If the insurance company doesn't pay? Fine.


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