Thursday, August 09, 2007

Melt Down - Take 137

Yesterday, I dropped my basket.

I called everybody I could in my moment of weakness. Em wanted me to get in the car and drive her over to her house and leave her there till the morning so I could get 8 hours of un-interrupted sleep. Maybe it's sleep deprivation or maybe its irrational but I just can't do that. I can't leave my 3 1/2 week old baby at someones house overnight. Although the sleep would be lovely , I just can't leave my baby girl.

I was basically at my whits end yesterday.

I need sleep - on the most basic level... just sleep.


At 7:46 PM, Anonymous Amy said...

I know what that is like. I can remember dealing with my 2nd one who was very fussy. I asked my In-Laws to watch her while my husband and I went out to dinner. They cancelled on me. I could feel the walls coming in and thinking "How will I make it?"

And here is a post about why I got mad at my boobies. Link here.

At 7:03 AM, Blogger Elizabeth Blair York said...

I'm going to say it, even though it may sound horrible to you.

I think it is past time to bring Mr. M. aboard, S.

You need 8 hours of sleep, and it will actually take TWO nights of that for you to feel rested but one night will actually get you sane again.

Not sure how it went last weekend or what his work schedule is like, but sooner (asking nicely) or later (he comes home and you're in hysterics in the pantry and hand the kid off to him and race out and sleep in a hotel) this is a moment we ALL reach.


He comes home early or goes in late or takes a sick day. This is new parent standard. And you crawl into bed (yours or a guest bed or a hotel, even) and he doesn't even try to wake you. He handles it on his own until you are rested.

And you both do this not because you are weak (you're not!) or because you're the only woman who couldn't handle a newborn (NO ONE does without help in the first 6 weeks) but because this is the best thing for the family - for a newborn who needs care from a rational adult, for a postpartum mom who must sleep, and for the new dad who IS part of the family and needs to be important in that role.

Someday, I promise you, you will be standing with a group of moms and dads at some kid event watching your little ones play and a new parent will come in and someone will say 'How are you doing' and the parent will say 'Oh, I just need some SLEEP' and you will hear from all around you the exact same story you are telling now and how everyone dealt with it...

Sorry for such a long post. You are doing great. Hang in there, Suz. Reach out to your beloved, tell him how bad it is.... and let him help.

Sweet dreams.

At 3:41 PM, Blogger Kait said...

I completely understand why you wouldn't want to leave your baby somewhere else. I would end up staring at the ceiling all night long wondering if she was ok!

I hope that you're able to get some support soon. I totally know how you're feeling!


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