38w4d

11 days to go till my due date. I've been telling people that I'm ready now, but maybe that isn't the whole truth. I may be as ready as I'll ever be, but visualizing myself in labor is hard for me. As is visualizing myself as a mother: breastfeeding, changing diapers, snuggling, etc.

A few things happen when you're less than 2 weeks away from your due date that I didn't really know would occur. When you call people, you know, just to chat like always - they immediately say, "are you in labor". When you respond in the negative they immediately say, oh ok - we'll talk to you later! I'm going through social withdrawal, nobody talks about anything but babies or labor.
I also find myself peeing a lot - which I thought wouldn't happen to me. When I do go pee it ends up being no more than a teaspoon. I wipe with amazing diligence, inspecting each piece of toilet paper hoping to see a trace of mucus plug.

Google and the Discovery channel have become my close friends and enemies. I can't stop watching birth shows and googling "38 weeks closed cervix". Yup, my cervix is totally closed. I got checked yesterday at my 38 week appointment. I was told this is currently a 7 lb baby and that my cervix is completely shut. However, the saving grace message that I received was that she is at zero station - meaning her head is 'locked and loaded' if you will. I've carried low throughout my pregnancy so I wasn't surprised by this information. I just wish that cervix would start to soften up a bit and get a move on.

So the wait continues. I don't know when it got in my head that I would be lucky enough to have her before my due date, but I was secretly hoping. She's got 10 more days before I get really impatient. I'm still working and plan to till I deliver, I just can't sit at home and twiddle my thumbs. I'll go absolutely crazy waiting if I'm not distracted by spreadsheets and timelines.

If I should go into labor this blog won't get an immediate update. Since no one in my personal life knows about my blogging there really isn't anybody to update with news. When we bring her home I'll post pics and the birth story. As I know how much I have been obsessed with reading birth stories for the past few weeks.

You'll have several more posts from me before she's here though. You'll hear from me after July 14th for sure.... still moaning and groaning.