I attended Mr. M's grandmother's 90th birthday party this weekend in Atlanta. All the family was there - aunts, uncles, cousins, etc etc. One of Mr.M's cousins has 2 little girls, Elizabeth and Stephanie.
Elizabeth is 8 and the smartest child I've ever met. Unfortunately though, her life will be hard. She thinks logically - VERY logically. She doesn't like unfairness especially when the logical explanation for what should occur seems so clear to her. She will either get defeated too many times and become an under-achiever OR she will cure cancer.
Stephanie - who we kindly call "Step-funny" is almost 2 years old and the sweetest angel I've ever laid eyes on. She came to me with arms stretched wide the moment I met her. She slept in my lap, cuddled and snuggled. She held hands and laughed the most intoxicating laugh I've ever heard. She fell asleep in the car on the way to lunch and Mr.M took her out of her carseat and proceeded to stand the entire meal. I asked him if he wanted to sit but he looked at me with the Bambi eyes and said he didn't want to wake her - oh and could we please get one just like her?? pretty please? He fell in love with her - and so did I. If ever I doubted that Mr.M would be a loving father I got my proof this weekend. He's weak in the knees for these girls. He plays cards with the older one and snuggles with the little one.
I forgot my birth control pills at home this trip. I told Mr.M the moment I realized it which was pretty quick actually. He said - what if you just stopped taking them? I told him he's suggesting a pretty huge thing. I know him - he won't put the condom on in that moment, he'll say "what the heck lets do it." He said he wants a step-funny and after this weekend I can see that he needs a step-funny. He needs to complete his full life and he seemed complete this weekend playing daddy. So I'm off the pills, it's been 5 days and I'm sure that my body will be doing some flip-flops as I've been on the pill for 8 years.
Do I want to get pregnant? yes - I do. Do I want to be married first? ideally. Is it a huge deal if the two happen simultaneously? no. I'm ok with this. Mr.M is 40 and if that means we have a baby first and do the pomp and circumstance later so be it.
On another note - I was offered a job this morning by the company who has been sending me through the longest interview process in history. They didn't offer me THE job - but they offered me A job. I asked them if they were still considering me for THE job and they said they were but wanted to put this one past me first. I dont' want it. I really don't want any part of what they are doing in their hyper controlled atmosphere. No coats over chairs, no jeans ever, must be at work during core hours, no working from home, blinds must be mid-level, chairs must be pushed in, overtime is expected.
I told my boss about the job last week. She's doing what she can to make it so I can afford to stay here. I'm not asking them to match it. I'm just asking them to make it so I'm not a complete idiot for staying. She's on the task and I trust that she's doing everything she can. She's put me in touch with many people in different departments to look into switching to something else within the company. All in all - she totally rocks and I should stay just on the premise that I will never have a boss like this ever again.
PS. we might have made a step-funny last night, but being that I've been on the pill for 8 years it's unlikely.