Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Case of The Blahs

I have my second interview tomorrow for the job that pays a MILLION dollars.

It sounds really great, its a great office, great new boss, downtown - just lovely - right?

So why am I so ambivalent?

For the past few weeks I lack direction - motivation - drive. All I want to do is stay home and plant flowers. NOne of the things that usually keep me going are working. I dont' feel like staying that extra 1/2 hour at work. I don't feel like trying to help out or fixing the damn problem. I just feel like being left the fuck alone.

I don't want to show up on time for work - hell I don't want to show up at work at all. I feel that this isn't going to change when I get a new and exciting job either. I've lost the force that usually drives me. I can't say it's a bad thing either. I just have no interest.

Maybe this is just part of it - it comes and goes. Some days you are totally into the rat race and trying to be the best you can be and other days - eh.

I don't care if I get the job - I just don't. WIll I keep looking if I don't get it? Not sure. JUst don't care really. It's just a job - there's lots of jobs and lots of other ways to make money.

When Mr.M said "None of this matters" I fear that I took it to heart. NOne of this DOES matter - which makes me not care - which makes me ambivalent etc etc.

so - wish me luck - or not.


At 7:14 AM, Blogger cursingmama said...

Is it the field? Are you bored with / ambivalent toward the field you are working in? Is there something (even if it doesn't pay all the bills)you'd rather do? Think hard - the career field switch would be easier to make now than in say 10 years when seniority, pay, and other perks are harder to lose. Trust me on this one.
Now go bake some cupcakes or something for me to look at and wish I could eat ;)


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