Case of The Blahs
I have my second interview tomorrow for the job that pays a MILLION dollars.
It sounds really great, its a great office, great new boss, downtown - just lovely - right?
So why am I so ambivalent?
For the past few weeks I lack direction - motivation - drive. All I want to do is stay home and plant flowers. NOne of the things that usually keep me going are working. I dont' feel like staying that extra 1/2 hour at work. I don't feel like trying to help out or fixing the damn problem. I just feel like being left the fuck alone.
I don't want to show up on time for work - hell I don't want to show up at work at all. I feel that this isn't going to change when I get a new and exciting job either. I've lost the force that usually drives me. I can't say it's a bad thing either. I just have no interest.
Maybe this is just part of it - it comes and goes. Some days you are totally into the rat race and trying to be the best you can be and other days - eh.
I don't care if I get the job - I just don't. WIll I keep looking if I don't get it? Not sure. JUst don't care really. It's just a job - there's lots of jobs and lots of other ways to make money.
When Mr.M said "None of this matters" I fear that I took it to heart. NOne of this DOES matter - which makes me not care - which makes me ambivalent etc etc.
so - wish me luck - or not.