Monday, March 20, 2006

I Shouldn't But I Do

Ok - I know I shouldn't get my panties in a twist about comments that are left by certain people that refer to themselves as "anonymous". Because - yea, they don't leave their name so they must know what they are saying isn't exactly a popular opinion.

I can't help it though.

To anonymous -

DUH - of course I'm not engaged! That's exactly what the whole point of the post was. That we talked about it and our discussions were heading in another direction. Not that I'm some deranged woman who thinks that her imaginary boyfriend asked her to marry him and they rode of into the sunset together on a white horse.

I don't know why that comment got to me so much. I guess because I know how my situation "sounds" and I know how it could be perceived. That I'm a desperate crazed woman who's latching onto anything just to say she's headed towards happily ever after.

Like the kids in high school who swore up and down that they had a boyfriend/girlfriend and that they just went to another school or lived in another state.

Well I'm not a crazy woman and I do know what's real and what's not so please refrain from what Amalah refers to as the "assvice".

To think I even considered taking down the blog because of one little comment! I'm a thin skinned girl - which I'm sure is obvious from my writings about my relationship. I've tried to toughen up but I can't help it - and quite frankly I like that I wear my emotions for the world to see. It makes me capable of vulnerability and love.

Ok - enough defending myself.

We're still headed in the same direction as we were in my last post. We talked again on Sunday night and many more things were clarified, many more fears were voiced, and the decision still holds that we are planning to be married in about 1.5 years. However we've both decided to not announce anything until a ring is on my finger and my hand in marriage has been officially requested by Mr.M from my father.

Nothing is real yet. It's all talk - but it's good talk. The kind that leaves you feeling loved and in it together rather than battling upstream alone. Because at the end of it all he says "I choose you" and no sweeter words have been uttered to me by anyone - ever.

1 Comments:

At 8:40 PM, Anonymous Amy said...

And you know that you both are working to make it work. Not matter what happens, you tried. Way better than just giving up. And hey, isn't that what love is about? (Corney, but true!!!)

 

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