Thursday, July 28, 2005

Dreams Of Emily

I had another dream about Emily the other night.

I've stopped thinking about these as "signs". I used to think everytime I dreamed about her that must mean I was supposed to attempt to recontact. All through college I would pick up the phone or get on email and let her know that I had another dream to which she would always reply "OH MY GOD, SO DID I!"

Our dreams were always in tandom at least that's how it felt. No matter where we were or how long it had been since our last falling out we always connected because of these dreams. We used to refer to them as our telepathic signals. Especially when something was happening in one of our lives... our dreams would rage on with vivid detail until we picked up the phone.

I stopped picking up the phone and started burying the dreams.

After the last big wave of them when I was having vivid dreams of us in school buses getting into gory accidents I called a radio station "dream doctor". I don't necessarily believe that our dreams have meaning except that maybe you were thinking about that person in daily life and they appeared in your dreams just because. When I explained my dream he was matter o' fact about it. He said, and I'm paraphrasing, that when Emily and I were in school we had a solid, stable and safe relationship. We were eachothers rocks our soul mates. Then things outside of school got bad, messy, dirty, and unpleasant. We had huge fights (hence the accident in the dream) but we held on to our friendship from school that we thought would get us through (hence the school bus).

My thoughts are that she is gone to me. It's as if she died now. I haven't seen her in probably 2+ years and haven't spoken to her in over a year. Sometimes I feel like I mourn her as if my good friend had died, but I have no gravestone to visit.

The most recent dream I had she was pregnant (which I hear is true in real life). She was glowing and lovely. She was opening her arms to me as if we had never parted, never minced words, and never grown to despise eachothers lifestyles. I remember feeling her belly in her cute summer maternity dress that she wore and laughing about how I would call the new baby Zoe regardless of what she named her.

Emily is dead. She has to be. I can't stand these dreams anymore... make them go away please.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Surprise! You're Fired!

No... not me... don't worry internet land, you're favorite corporate ranter has not been "let go".

A co-worker of mine in a different department sent an email out yesterday saying goodbye. We had no idea this person was leaving, so we investigated. Turns out they fired the guy with no notice. Just sat in closed door meetings all day and asked him in for the end of it. Said, "this isn't a good fit" and escorted him out.

Talk about a surprise!

Who does that?!? Just smacks somebody upside the head and says SEE YA!

Especially if you're someone like me, who lives paycheck to paycheck and they offered you only 2 weeks pay (I don't really know how much he got)that would be awesomely devastating.

So, even though I didn't like the guy much, and I did think he was a bit inept at his job... I still feel pretty bad about it.

I hope this isn't a good indication of how this company deals with letting people go. If it is... I hope he got a few months severence.


Monday, July 25, 2005

Linda Blair Has Nothing On Me

About 3 years ago I was told that I would need to get my wisdom teeth removed. I have a fear of needles that isn't exactly your standard fear of needles. It's more like... paralyzing, panicked, anxiety attack, pass-out kind of fear.

I'm not sure where this stems from. My most early memory of this sort of thing would be when I was scheduled to receive my pre-kindergarten shots. I believe the screams were heard miles away and suffering was had by all. It took 3 nurses to hold me down as I kept climbing up them... yes UP them... like they were jungle gyms.

Then next memory I have of needles involves dentistry. I was in 2nd grade (I think) and my baby teeth were refusing to budge to allow my new teeth in. I had 4 fangs in other words. The reason for this I believe is that I did not like ANY kind of pain and would refuse to wiggle my teeth when they became loose or needed to be pulled. So this resulted in the dentist having to pull all of my top four front teeth and my bottom four front teeth.

I thought this was ok... since they had a cool kids dentist area with the chairs that looked like horses on a merry go round. I thought it was fun. Until... the novocaine came. The needle went into my gums and I began to whimper, tears rolling down my cheeks. You know what happened next??? The Dentist slapped me.


He slapped me and said, "knock it off... no crying!"

I will never forget that moment for all of my life. No one could save me. I was in the merry go round horse hell of dentist land. My mother was in the waiting room and not even I could muster a scream loud enough for her to hear.

Jump forward to a year and a half ago when I decided to take the plunge and get my wisdoms pulled. I thought I had outsmarted my fear by requesting that I be "put under". Or given a general anesthetic.

Heart pounding I entered the Oral Surgeon's office that fateful day in March. Mr. M was holding my hand tight. The nurse came out and said it was time. I felt my eyes well up with tears and my face get hot red. My stomach was cold as ice. I requested with a shaky squeaky voice, "could my boyfriend come with me until I'm under?" To which the evil barbarian nurse said "NO". I pleaded with her for a few minutes assuring her that it would be to her benefit and the benefit of all the staff if this simple thing could occur. She scoffed and said, "you'll be fine".

Mr. M clutched my hand and gave it a little squeeze... saying, "you'll be ok honey.. .it's ok". Tears were now rolling down my cheeks as my shaking hands removed my watch, earrings, and ring.

Then they sat me in a small room, so I could watch the infomercial from hell. Telling me about all the risks of wisdom tooth removal. How I could permanently damage nerves and general anesthetic can kill you yada yada. Throughout the little film I attempted to regulate my breathing and think of happy things like my kitten and my handsome man.

Then they escorted me to the torture chamber... errr I mean the room in which the proceeeeeeedure would take place. I was given some nitrous oxide which seemed to make me not care about the IV, which was a plus. So far so good.



Yes, that's correct. They strapped my arms to the chair and my feet. The blindfold was put over my eyes and that is the last thing I remember. The way the nurses tell it, that's when the wrath of God was bestowed on them. I apparently began hyperventilating, writhing my head from side to side, swearing, screaming, crying etc etc.

They managed to get two teeth out without suffering from major injury. It was at that point that the hyperventilation began to freak them out. They went out to get Mr. M from the waiting room. They told him and I quote! "we need to stop the surgery as we feel that proceeding any further could cause your girlfriend to parish."

Parish? WTF?

He was shocked. Didn't these people understand that this was a wisdom teeth removal? When he entered the room to calm me down since none of them could manage it on their own (HELLO MOTHERFUCKERS!?! WHEN I SAY I NEED HIM I MEAN IT!)he witnessed the most true life re-enactment of the exorcist. He says I had blood streaming down my cheek and gauze hanging out with bloody teeth. I also had a bright red face and since my eyes are already strikingly blue they are usually magnified by redness. This was the case. I had glowing eyes and red everything else. I was also shouting profanities at the nurses and Dr.'s in the room. Telling them if they would have just LET me do it the way I KNEW would work then none of this would have happened. I believe I called them all cocksuckers and motherfuckers. Mr. M said he heard me say things that not even the dirtiest of sailor mouths would say.

Jump forward to this week. I have finally gotten up the courage to go for round 2 of the wisdom teeth removal. This time, no IV. Which is incredibly more terrifying to me as it means I will have to be AWAKE for needles administered into MY SKULL!

I called the office doing the work so as to create a sort of "plan of attack" with them.

Once again... nobody believes me.

Oh yea sure little girl... I'm sure you get upset with needles, nothing a little nitrous won't take care of.

My stomach is already doing flips just thinking about it. They have already told me Mr. M will not be allowed in the room. M*TH*RF*CK*RS!!! I have decided to listen to an IPOD with the earplugs jammed into my ear as far as they'll go. I have also decided to have some topical cream prior to the NEEDLE IN MY BRAIN! I'm sure I'll freak out... I'm already freaking out. Nobody understands me. Nobody will listen... and most of all... they don't understand that the wrath of God is coming.

Mr. M had an appointment today with this same office to get a tooth extracted. I asked the lady I spoke with today if he had warned them. She said, "for some reason he told us that you would be a legend"

That's right lady... You'll remember this day until the day you retire.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Just a Sneak Peak

This is me.

I AM the Dining GURU!

I have always had a strong love for food. I love good tastes and as a child if I got to enjoy one of my favorites it wouldn't be odd for me to do the infamous "happy food dance".

Now, let me clarify. This does not mean that I am a lover of all foods. I am a picky eater. I have a thing about textures, no slimy.... hate the slimy. So that means I don't eat:
  • Tomatoes - unless they are chopped into little cubes for nachos or tacos OR if they are in a salsa (loves me some salsa)
  • Mushrooms of any variety - they give me the willies
  • Fruit. - yes.. I said it! I HATE FRUIT! Slimy, pulpy make you gag as the slime slides down your throat... [shivers]
  • Chunky Puddings - tapioca I can live a lifetime without tasting.
  • Yogurts with chunks of fruit slime - the ultimate in unsatisfactory textures.
  • Fish - some I can deal with if it's deep fried beyond recognition. I also don't mind the shrimp at Benihana for some reason. Maybe because I see them make it with my own eyes so I know there is no funny business.

Which brings me to what I DO enjoy! I love dining out. LOVE IT! I think I like it so much because we were poor growing up and usually couldn't afford "out to eat". Many times we would cry and whine when we'd pass a McDonald's and mom would say, "I can make you a hamburger at home". Which usually ended up as small hockey pucks of meat with chunks of onions and green peppers sticking out.

Below you will find a list of my absolute all time favorite restaurants in the country. Yes, many are in Minnesota being that I live here. But some are in other places, as traveling treats.

El MesonI always order the Bistec Encebollado. It comes with black beans and white rice and is not your traditional steak and onions latin style. Its in this sauce that is nearly impossible to deconstruct. I'm thinking balsamic vinegar or maybe red wine. We also get the plantanitos for an appetizer with their house speciality salsa. I wish I could get some to take home with me cause it's amazing!

Machu PicchuI get the Pollo Soltado. Yes it has french fries in it... no it's not weird... just TRY IT! I order a side of black beans with my dinner and an empanada for an appetizer. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. We go here so much they start making our order when we walk in the door.

Howie G'sI know I know... looks like a big giant steak house where you eat your weight in meat and then rub your belly and undo your top button when you're through right?!? They have added a sushi bar to this seemingly all beef restaurant and I hear it's quite good. I order the sliced sirloin and it comes in this yummy asian inspired sauce with hints of soy sauce and rice wine vinegar. Although there is a potato bar to slather yourself in butter I choose the sushi bars rice and it is the perfect marriage of flavors and textures. They offer a choice of 3 bottomless salads to start and I recommend the caeser but they are all quite tasty. If you get the soup, I warn you... it's actually beef stew and a meal in and of itself.

Macaroni Grill So what if it's a chain! I dig only one thing on the menu and if that one thing wasn't there... I probably wouldn't go. The Carmela's Chicken Rigatoni is soaking in this white wine cream sauce with small pieces of smokey flavored grilled chicken. Once again a caeser salad is usually ordered and their rosemary warmed bread is lovely with some olive oil and fresh ground pepper.

The Great Wall Some may say that this is your standard Americanized Chinese place but I say - YUM! They have the best wonton soup I've ever had. It's in a slightly darker brown broth and the wontons are of a thicker noodle variety. I would go so far to say they may use potsticker wraps for their wonton noodles but I really have no idea. I also get the Sizzling Spicy Chicken which comes out sizzling... as you would expect. It has this tasty spicy sauce with asparagus and red bell peppers. We usually share it and it's perfect.

PF Changs I may have to take this off my list of favorites soon as with weightwatchers most of my favorites are slowly going into the "bad" category. I used to get the lettuce wraps for an appetizer and the Double Pan fried noodles with Chicken for a main course. Now... with the whole diet thing, I'm subjected to their Ginger and garlic chicken and broccoli which is fine... but no pan friend noodles.

Christos If one were to enjoy the Greek food (and I do) then one would enjoy Christos. It's got all of the standard Greek fare. Mr. M loves the lemon soup to start... I have their Tomato Basil with chunks of Feta floating in it usually sopped up by some warm fresh pita bread. If they have my favorite on the menu (which they rarely do and I usually call ahead) Putenesca then I am truly in heaven. Kalamata olives, fettucine noodles, feta cheese, with a light olive oil. If they don't have my favorite I get any of the regular standard items Phyllo Chicken (not the right name but you get the point) or Spanakopita.

Snappy Dragon Judy Fu I love YOU! I went here on my first trip to Seattle with Mr. M as it was one of his all time favorites while he lives there and I TOTALLY KNOW WHY! It's amazing. The Jao Zi is to die for everything is amazing... literally pick ANYTHING on the menu and you will be in heaven. Now we just have to convince Mrs. Fu to start something here in Minnesota and we'll be all set.

The Mayflower In Vegas it's hard to pick your FAVORITE restaurant since really everything and anything there is a step above most things other cities have. The Mayflower offers yummy asian dishes but would by no means be considered authentic Chinese. I like it because it's different than most places who try to fuse Asian with American... I think they have succeeded and if I got to Vegas in two weeks like I want to... you'll see me there!

Houstons I would have sent you to their official website but they had little to nothing about what kind of food you would find. I suppose it's a bit of a chain. Ok I'm lying, it's totally a chain. But they don't have them here in Minnesota I have gone to the one in Atlanta and had the quite tasty Chicken Strips. I know, chicken strips?!? What am I 8 years old??? No, I assure you, these are fried in a tempura like batter which makes them light and flaky. I also get the coleslaw and stringy fries that are so yummy and very much like comfort food for adults.

El Loro Located in total suburbia this is a diamond in the rough. We usually share the Chorri Pollo which is this tasty dish with a grilled chicken breast smothered in white cheese and ground chorizo sausage. Served with your standard refried beans and spanish rice (what a false title, they don't make spanish rice like that in authentic mexican places)as well as some fresh warm flour tortillas. Eaten much like you would a fajita it's the perfect meal for two. The chips and salsa are also on the favorites list as the salsa is fresh with chunks of onions and yes, dare I say tomatoes with just the right amount of heat.

ok... I'll stop now. Although there are quite a few more options that I love. I will let you all tell me your favorites. Items I HAVE to try if I come to your cities.

Happy Eating!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

I am WonderWoman's Evil Twin

I need to learn how to stretch my work load out over a whole day. I always go hog wild in the morning and am left sleepy and bored at 2:30 on. So I read all the blogs and I check all the email and then I stare off into nothingness.

So to try and spice up the seemingly endless afternoon... I give you... a real email conversation with me and my friend Jeffraaaay.

Jeff to Suz:
Oh, man.
pillar of strength. Have I told you that you have a passing
resemblance to Lynda Blair of Wonderwoman fame? Tell him you'll be his
Wonderwoman. He'll think that's hot. Or funny. Or gross. Whatever.
How's the career?

Suz to Jeff:
career's going ok. Just went through my first corporate Reorganization. Weird.

So... let me get this straight, you want me to do the same job I do
with different bosses, with a different title, for a different
company... but nothings changing... errr ok whatever.

People have told me the wonderwoman thing before... something about
the blue eyes and dark hair I think. Maybe I'll be wonderwoman for
halloween. :D

Jeff to Suz:
Interviewed with [biggiantnutscompany] this morning. More on that tomorrow.
Gotta go. Kid's illin' and I gotta get a move on. Tell me more about
this Corporate reorganization later!! I want to hear a bout it. Maybe
I'll get to chat when I get home.

Suz to Jeff:
That place looks pretty damn cool. It also looks like a place that
takes 1+ hour lunches so its A+ in my book!
I'm assuming you interviewed for a graphic design position... any word
on salary? did it feel like they wanted you?

Jeff to Suz:
It was just a phone screening by HR.
Place seems pretty cool. New position they just created. Mid 30s to
40k. Working with actual clients to create identities. If asked to
interview, I will. Curious to see what exactly they offer. Dakota and
I went there once for a seminar. She wanted to work there. Well,
actually we both did at the time.

Suz to Jeff:
oh that would totally kill her if you got hired at the a place she
idolized.... I'm evil, truly I really am. Maybe I"m wonderwoman's evil
cousin. Maybe I'm the evil cousin because I weigh 30 lbs more than
wonderwoman and I'm pissed off trying to get revenge... yea.. thats it
for sure.

Jeff to Suz:
HAHA. Sweet. Actually, I'm pretty sure you weigh less than Lynda,
because she was pretty tall. She was more like my size, but more
muscle. Probably around 160. She was built like an out of shape
volleyball star..
I don't know if she idolized the place, but she did think it was
really cool. As long as she doesn't get hired as Creative Development
Manager, I'll be o.k.

I'll spare you from the rest... it was in total a 16 email thread. My yahoo messenger isn't workin for some reason. I think the IT dude at work prolly put the snub on that. I used the web based version as I don't have administrative rights on my computer so can't download. I feel cutoff from the world. NO LIKEY!

DAMNIT... I only wasted five minutes. More to come if I don't find something else to do this afternoon.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The Irony Of Dreams

Throughout my dating life... I always wished for a boyfriend who was honest and had integrity. Many times I thought, it must not exist for all I find is dishonest piles of poo.

Until I met MR. M

Mr. M is the epitomy of honesty and integrity. So much so.... that sometimes I wish he'd stop!

This morning he was half awake when I kissed him goodbye and snuggled up next to him on the bed to get a hug before I left. He said with his eyes still closed and mumbling, "I'm sorry, I cheated on you."

He's done this before so I wasn't alarmed.

I whispered back in my "I'm talking to a sleeping person that I love voice".

ME: What happened honey?

HIM: I'm sorry... I was wearing her shoes.

ME: Who's shoes?

HIM: Jennifers shoes. I didn't come home all night and the next morning I showed up at home with her shoes on.

---side note... Jennifer is an ex girlfriend from like 15 years ago hehehe. Who is now married and pregnant in Washington

ME: How do you know you cheated on me? Maybe you were just wearing her shoes?

HIM: no .. I know I did. I remember the sex.

ME: ok, well... don't let it happen again.

HIM: I'm sorry, I won't let it happen again.

On my way to work I realized the absolute irony of this situation because a dream I had last night jumped into my consciousness.

I dreamt of Mr. M and I's wedding day. Everything down to the weird cream colored tux he wore with oversized tennis shoes ( I have no idea people.. it was a DREAM!)I remember feeling so happy and complete and fulfilled. It was a lovely dream.

Here I am dreaming of my wedding day... and he's dreaming of sleeping with ex-girlfriends. Does everyone see the big giant red flag here? Does it make it anybetter that he told me about his dream? Do our dreams mean anything?

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

WeightLoss Challenge

The weightloss challenge continues.

Mr. M and I waaaaay back in January decided to change our lives. We decided to be healthier and shed a few pounds. SO we got a gym membership at th Y.

For those of you who are scoffing... we actually did start working out 3-5 days a week and have continued it through the present. soo naah naah naaah boo boo!

Naturally you'd think we'd start to shed pounds immediately right? Going from slugs to active people should make that change right?!?


We lost no weight those first three or so months. We were very discouraged but continued to prode eachother on in hopes of achieving our goals despite the weird setback.

Low and behold, Mr.M started to drop pounds here and there. I believe he started at 190 gained 4 pounds in the first for months and then lost 8 putting him at 186. Yay Mr. M! more like... BASTARD! How dare you lose weight and I didn't!

I started at 150 jumped up to 156 in the first month and then lost 3 pounds. Putting me at a heavier weight than I started at.... yea... go ... me. BLECH!

So our latest plan of attack has been eating less and better for you foods. This began 12 days ago. I went on weightwatchers and Mr. M decided to eat less but not have a specific diet in mind.

Guess who's losing weight?!?!

Yup, you guessed it... NOT ME!
He's down to 180. Which is 14 pounds less than his highest weight. I'm down to 150 which is exactly where I started at in January. So I pretty much lost the weight that working out put on me.

I feel weak, tired, dizzy, and starving every minute of the day. My tummy growls and my eyes are fuzzy. Now, can this really be good for you??? I asked Mr. M if he felt deprived at all, if he was feeling hungry... no of course not! Why would he feel hungry?!?

Maybe I'm just supposed to be a thicker girl. Maybe that's the way God wants me. Which doesn't make sense because I was about 118 when I graduated Highschool. I know I know.... don't compare to highschool, different metabolism.. blah blah blah.

My co-worker said it best today at lunch when she asked "WHY are you dieting?" I said, "because I'm overweight". She said, "but don't you just want to be healthy? aren't you healthy?" I said, "yes I'm healthy, but..." She said, "then WHY!?"

yes...exactly my thoughts... why.


Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Amish and such

There are a couple of reasons I haven't posted in a while. The first one being that I've been on a whirlwind of family reunions in the past few weeks. One involved an 11 hour boat ride with about 67 Amish people... don't ask. Well, you can ask, but I probably won't write about it till things get a little less busy around here.

Which brings me to reason number two. I'm busy! Work has been none stop, reorg and cross over to the new company has definitely had it's annoyances. One of which seems to be affected the month in which I receive my 1 year promotion to Senior Project Director. You can mess with me all you want at work, but don't mess with my pay raises or there will be hell to pay!

Another of the many reasons for my hiatus is Mr.M's recent endeavor of being a TV producer has finally come to light. He has sold his show and has someone actually willing to air it. How lovely! I'm very pleased and I would also like to take this moment to thank God for not letting this happen until now. If this would have happened 6 months ago I would have been a wreck and it would have crushed my relationship. We are now both more secure in 'us' and can move forward with this new life changing event. It might just be true what they say, God has perfect timing. So, if any of you live in New England or get America One Sports channel you're in luck, you'll get to see my sweet man's show and I hope you like it!

The kitchen is still in limbo. Nothing has moved or shifted. No tile has been laid, no floor been leveled. We're at a standstill and it's mostly due to the three previous items I listed. Still hoping to complete this before the end of summer.

Mr.M will be in vegas for TWO WEEKS. The longest we've been apart since our start 2 years ago. When he told me this he was quick to add that of course I'd come to visit half way through so as to make it not such a long time apart. swoooooon.

I'm reading all your blogs... so keep writing. Just haven't had a lot of time to put my own words down.

Weightwatchers is working! down to 148!!! I have to admit though... it sucks a big giant fatty.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Managing Expectations

Mr. M taught me this very valuable tool and I put it to use this past weekend.

I was guilted into traveling across North Dakota for a family reunion this weekend. Imagine 27 year old Bro, 22 year old seester, me, Mom, and Step-dad in a toyota camry packed to the brim. We were car bound for a total of 14 hours.

Before I left Mr. M talked to me about not setting myself up to be pissed off. If I just expect everyone to be at their worst then anything more would be great. So I tried it.

Grandpa - was grumpy and mean
Grandma - was steadfast by his side and allowed him to be grumpy and mean
Auntie Liza - was suck up central with gma and gpa. (although she did not give any zingers, which was a bonus!)
Auntie Neversee - was wonderful as usual. Non-confrontational mostly absorbed in her three kids (bonus! we got to play tag with 2 year olds!)
Uncle Airforce - was not as harsh as usual and spent most of his time wranglin his kids. (bonus! He has is OWN kids to be harsh with and not us anymore!)
Uncle Whinypants - was whiny but is now engaged and his fiancee does an excellent job of buffering him (BONUS! we have a buffer!)
Auntie soon to be - was meek and quiet (did I mention excellent buffer!)
Uncle Laidback - was laid back as usual... also brought some woman.
Some woman - eh, not too thrilled with her entrance into the family, hopefully something will throw a wrench into that plan. She's awfully condescending to me... and let's face it can't be more than 6 years my senior.
Bro - agreed to a verbal contract before the trip to not tease or pinch me (BONUS! bro acted like an adult!)
Seester - acted like she usually does (managed expectations came in handy here)
Mom - stressball, frantic, anxiety ridden, angry at gma and gpa etc etc. (I was prepared for this)
Step-Dad - EXCELLENT buffer for mom when she gets nuts.
Uncle Posh - drank at the bar and kept repeating "I just do what I'm told". Which was pretty funny.

So all in all... not so bad. I wish Mr. M could have enjoyed the excursion with me but I couldn't possible subject him to that much torture. He'll be joining me this weekend for the ferry ride down the Mississippi with the family. Part II to the reunion. I'm sure it'll be a dooozy.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Drunkity Drunk Drunk

I attended my friend Nene's bday party last night and oooooh what a disaster it was.

We arrived a bit late but beat everyone else there, except Nene and her roommate. When I approached the table Nene seemed fine. Happy, glowing and smiling. Fine. She was drinking a margarita and her roommie was drinking a HONKING BIG ASS BEER.

Nene's family eventually all showed up and one of her old highschool friends who now has a 2 year old. ADORABLE CHILD! me and Mr. M couldn't stop staring at her she was so well behaved and lovely.

We order, we eat chips, yada yada. The server brings over a "birthday drink" for Nene. Flaming birthday drink that looks the color of molasses. She sucked it down... and within seconds she was slurring her words. It was very bizarre. Why would this one drink have that much of an effect on her?!? I whispered to Mr. M "is it just me or did she just get wasted instantaneously?" He confirmed that indeed she did.

Our food came, Nene ate a few bites got up to go to the bathroom stumbling and droopy eyed. We wondered if we should go with her... she returned in time as to not alarm us. Although her entire family was questioning her drunken behavior they were very Minnesotan in that they pursed their lips and pretended like everything was peachy and normal.

Nene then smeared a bunch of salsa all over her pretty new pink tank top. I tried to help her out and handed her my cardigan. Yes, I was then freezing but I didn't want her to LOOK like a drunk, even though she was acting like one. Finally she got up again to go to the bathroom, the same thing... stubbling etc. She was gone about 10 minutes and I decided that I too had to use the jane. Not really, I was just a bit concerned.

I found her doubled over the toilet throwing up in huge volumes. She was throwing up with such intensity that I was a bit concerned. I got her to open the door and escorted her to the roomier handicap stall where I could be in there with her. She was bawling and sobbing and throwing up and spitting. It was a mess. We were in their for about 30 minutes before her roommate came looking for us. I told her to bring the car around we had to get her out of there.

Her uncle came in to the WOMEN'S BATHROOM which I welcomed since he was much bigger and stronger and could do a way better job carrying her out than I could

We finally got her to the car ... still slobbering crying and drunk out of her mind. She grabbed me by the hair and begged and pleaded with me to come with her. I lied and told her I was right behind her. No worries honey, just go home.

I then had to give some bullshit explanation to her family who were all waiting for her at the table as to why she would not be returning. We left promptly after that.

I think my friend is an alcoholic. I'm not just saying that casually. I think she truly has a problem. She doesn't like herself and she's drinking everyday so she doesn't have to see who she is in the mirror anymore. She's trying to buffer her reality so she doesn't have to deal.

How do you tell a friend this?