A Case of The Weeps

I don't know what is up with me today but I've been tearing up all day.

I was looking at wedding bouquets and starting tearing up.

Trying to find a veil online - teared up.

Anything to do with the pending wedding is causing the waterworks.

I'm not sure what's up with that - I know they are tears of happiness. I'm not sad... I'm just overwhelmed and excited. I want the day to be here right now. At frist I was worried I'd be a bridezilla. I'm a bit of an insane planner so - the chance for build up let down is very possible.

I'm not so worried about that anymore. I just know that as the day gets closer there will be more excitement and of course more tears. I can't wait to start the next chapter of my life.

I know that sounds cliche. I can't help it - it's the truth.

Now I need to go watch some commercials - so I can cry somemore.

Abused Woman

Last night we had a tramatic event while sleeping.

I got punched in the face.

I was half awake at about 7:30 this morning, suffering from a cold I got up to pop another sudafed before closing my eyes again. I rolled toward Mr. M and opened my eyes for the last second before sleeping and as I was about to settle in I saw this fist coming directly at me at full speed.

The fist landed squarely on my cheek bone, I screamed out only to see another fist coming directly at my face. I covered my head with my arms and started really screaming.

Mr. M awoke immediately. "What happened, what happened... are you ok? Baby?!?"

He had no idea what had just occurred and I didn't either really. After we inspected my face and cheek to make sure I wasn't bruised or injured too badly we managed to get back to sleep. Well, I got back to sleep but Mr. M did not. He felt so awful, poor guy.

He called me from work at about 11. He had remembered the dream rather suddenly that had made him throw punches. The dream made total sense. He was at some place, some guy was messin with him. He told the guy to back off, then the guy attacked him. He was fighting back and he distinctly remembered throwing one punch and feeling like he didn't really get the guy and trying to square up to give him the full punch.

Luckily I brought him out of his deep REM sleep fast enough to not get greeted with the business end of his fist on the second one because that would have definitely left me looking like a battered housewife.

We started reading up about it - looks like there is a real disorder out there RBD that occurs mostly in males middle aged and older that causes violent outbursts while sleeping. Hopefully this was a one time deal - because I really don't want to have to start sleeping in another bed.

Sick Anyone?

So who's sick of only reading about weddings and rings????

I AM! I AM!

Well that settles it... I'll be NOT talking about those items for today.

I've started the new position at work. I've been there for a few weeks now and really... it's going quite well. I'm a bit unsure of how my boss feels about me, even though I've gotten several reports from other people about how she's ranting and raving over me.

I think I'm learning rather quickly. I now know how to read data tables, create topline reports, and write questionnaires. Well, to be fair I already knew about questionnaire construction prior to taking the position but many things are making tons more sense now that I'm getting the background behind WHY they put that answer set in that order! AH HA!

The amount of math I do in my daily job is actually quite hilarious considering I swore off math in any form in 11th grade. Sure, I was always one year excelerated in math in school but - to me that only meant I get to stop earlier than everyone else.

I'm looking forward to mastering the job. I love feeling like I know what to do next at a job in all situations. I like problem solving and figuring it out and being good at something.

One huge downside to the current job is the new cube location. I have been put in a cube that's directly across the little cube hallway from the cube of the IT guy at work. The IT guy is NOTORIOUS for talking to himself. He has one of those bluetooth thingies - which I don't think is actually necessary for him but rather an alibi for talking to himself NON STOP!

Today I started feeling a bit sick with a scratchy throat and a cold coming on. The headache and bodyaches were starting. The guy talking to himself was HIGHTENED and MORE CLEAR and driving me literally insane.

Some of you are thinking... pshaw... so what, the guy talks to himself from time to time.

To which I say... nothing... because you're probably right.

But still - I need an excuse to give a play by play:

IT Guy: Why isn't that server running on the X level?
IT Guy: Well, probably because the 3rd server is blocking the X level to the B portal.
IT Guy: But if that were the case then the 2nd server wouldn't be functioning either on warp 10.
IT Guy: Well lets check it out and look in file C20 and find the error log.
IT GUy: We could always ping the server to find the location of the ...

You get the point and I can't make up anymore IT nerd speak because I have no idea what any of the stuff he talks about means. GOD - please make it stop.

I'm not the only one either. There are at least 10 people affected by this 1! guy. Everyone has developed coping techniques. Some wear Ipods, some talk loud on the phone to drown him out, some complain to supervisors, others make snide comments not quietly so he'll hear them, and some.... ignore.

I am not one of these people. I cannot be passive aggressive. I am utterly incapable of passive agressive behavior. I seek out conflict and resolution.

So today... everytime he'd start getting into huge conversations with himself I would spin around in my chair and stare at him until he became aware of me and would stop and start mumbling the conversation rather than yelling it out. I would continue to stare until he really stopped... momentarily. When he thought I wasn't paying attention he would start again - repeat, repeat, repeat, until I left for the day sick at 2:00.

So I'm sick... and tired... and sick.

For Once I Was Right

Since the ring has taken its place on my finger it's been a mixture of emotions. At first I think I was in shock. Now, looking back I was really not absorbing anything.

People would congratulate me... I'd say thank you, but was kinda like... ummmm.... duhhhhhrrrr.

Then I started planning, which by the way, I'm nearly done with. Yea, I'm that crazy. I have spreadsheets with multiple tabs including: budgets, guest lists, and posed shot lists.

Everything is basically done with the planning - we've registered... yada yada.

THe bottom line is. I'm happy. I'm really happy. I'm so excited to get started making our little family. Mr. M has been so totally on board, I've had to stop doing the double take everytime he says something. He talks about our marriage, our wedding day, our want to have children.

I have no other words to explain my state of bliss.