Same Old

I know I should try to be one of those people that posts religiously while pregnant - so that I can document my pregnancy to cherish it always and one day share with my child. I can't bear to do it. I'm tired of listening to myself already and I just started typing, because I know what comes next. The part where I once again wade through the dreggs of sickness and misery.

I've been sick - nausea pills or not - I throw up a lot. For a while I would sob uncontrollably everytime I'd throw up and plead with God to please make it stop. God laughed at me. I kept throwing up.

I'm managing the day-to-day better now that I've at least figured out my triggers and peak periods for sickness.

Here's what works.... FOR ME:

• Wake up slowly - and generally take my time in the morning
• DO NOT BRUSH TONGUE - I cannot stress this enough, my mouth hasn't been fresh in 7 weeks.
• Small Meals - several times a day, I shouldn't call them meals. More like snacks: pickles, nuts, carrots, yogurt, etc.
  
• Vitamin Water - or sports drink. Hydrated means I get to poop this WEEK.
  
• Take nausea pill at 3:00pm - no later, no earlier, always with food
• Move your body - being a slug makes you feel like a ... duuurrrr ... slug!

Here's what does NOT work:

• crackers and saltines - if its that easy - YOU AIN'T SICK
• ginger suckers, ginger tea, ginger anything - digestive aid my ASS
• Peppermints or Peppermint Tea - all I get is peppermint throw up - which BONUS if you have the stank nastiest breath known to man.
  
• Feeling sorry for myself - oddly enough, I still feel shitty afterwards
• Pleading to the Gods above - I'm suffering for some horror I caused my mother, I'm sure of it.
  

I'm not better - yet, just managed I would say. I throw up occasionally if I don't follow the "DO" list exactly, but at least I"m able to work an 8 hour day again. What I've moved on to obsessing about is the pain and suffering of childbirth. I'm terrified, like pee my pants terrified of the birth that is coming whether I like it or not.

I've done my reading - and all I got from that was overwhelmed. Everybody thinks they know the "right" way to birth a child with minimal pain. Since I'm Mrs. Listy today I'll give you a sampling of my knowledge, behold...:

• The Bradley Method - actually read the founders transcript of a speech given in the 60's to which he explained this method as making the most sense because the MAN is the head of the household and should therefore be the leader or "head" of the birth as well. I agree with parts of it - but I can't swallow the male dominance bullshit. It's basically a method that encourages "Husband and Birth Coach" and gives the partner a more active role in the birth - lets remember girls, MEN DON'T AND NEVER WILL GIVE BIRTH. So WTF?
• Lamaze - you know the drill, hee hee hoo hoo. Basically this method was designed to distract from the pains of labor. The previous method encourages re-directing the energy from the pain to forward moving labors. Hyperventilation and low oxygen supply to the baby are the drawbacks.
  
• Active Birth - this is the earth women of the world coming back into action. The main stance here is why in the world are women giving birth on their BACKS??? Why wouldn't they be squatting, sitting, leaning, moving, etc? I agree with many points of this method. I like the idea of a warm bath to take away some pressure and to generally relieve your body of its weight during early labor. Squatting makes a hell of a lot of sense to me. Gravity and all that.
• Doulas - once again, earth mother returns. These trained individuals will (for a fee) coach you through your late pregnancy and delivery and in some cases return for post partum and possible breast feeding support. They enact and encourage many of the active birth principles and will suggest during labor different positions and massaging to try. They do NOT take the place of your husband or partner (but can if you need them), they simply do what you need of them, whether its getting ice chips or pushing on your pelvic bone when your on all fours.
  
• Hypnobirthing - a method of self hypnosis to deal with labor pains. They also tout the claim that your baby will be born more alert and awake due to minimal need for drugs and epiderals. 2 - 4 sessions are recommended.
  

As you can see - the possibilities are endless, and I haven't covered nearly all the options available. You can see how someone would get overwhelmed who wants to do the right thing for their baby (which all claim to be) and the right thing for a pain freak such as myself. I've decided to put the books away for a bit so I can gain some clarity. Google is not my friend right now as I get hooked into each new method as if "YES I could TOTALLY do that!"

The bottom line was spoken best by friend Emy, "You can't plan this Suzanne, that baby comes out the way it wants to."