Sunday, November 19, 2006

Doesn't Count

I threw up twice tonight - but no food - just liquids. And before you all go saying "I told you so!" I think it was because I over ate and had nothing to do with "morning sickness". Granted I didn't eat anymore than I usually do at this particular restaurant but - I dunno... rationalize, rationalize, rationalize.

I'm ready for my wedding day to be here. I can't beLIEVE I'm going to go to work tomorrow. I will be the most un-productive I've ever been I'm sure. On Friday afterwork my boss had scheduled a happy hour bridal shower thingy. I got a card signed by the whole office and a little note inside that had a picture of our place settings that said "7 settings being delivered to your home". It was so very thoughtful it brought me to tears.

It's times like these that I think - there is no way I could ever leave my job - even if I did have a baby. I go back and forth a lot on that topic. To work or not to work. Which is quite funny since I used to be such a fierce feminist that I said I'd never get married let alone have children. I also used to have a definite idea of what a stay at home mom was. Irony has bitten me in the ass good on that one eh?

I'm trying to get as much rest as possible - which means I've been hittin the sack at about 9 each night and napping early afternoon - on the weekends of course. I've been feeling ok - my butt bone is killing me if I sit too long and I had a leg cramp at the theater the other night. Smells aren't really bothering me unless it's a lady next to me at a play who drank a gallon of cheap wine before she sat next to me for an hour and breathed through her mouth.

Mr. M is finally home - which I am terribly greatful for. He's my rock - and I need him now so badly. I get myself in a tizzy over unimportant details or worse - things I can't control. Several times he's had to remind me "big picture". Which is when I need to take a deep breath step back and remember that I'm going to marry this man regardless of if the table numbers are displayed correctly at the reception.


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