You'll Understand Someday
I don't even really know what to say right now. I'm in the hugest shock of my life. The bachelorette party was so anxiety ridden I was gagging in the toilet at 10:30 and I hadn't drank a drop.
I was so worried about how to handle the bachelorette - with good reason. I didn't want to tell people that I was pregnant, not yet at least. What made it more difficult is that I had my boss there, my sister, my step-mom, and my dad showed later in the night. My family and my work on the people I want to save from telling them this early.
I want to be able to celebrate my wedding day for what it is - a marriage to the man of my dreams, the man of my life. I don't want it to be about a baby, not yet. I'm happy, I really am - I'm just too stressed to deal with it right now.
I told my two best girlfriends because they knew I was late on my period and were calling me daily for an update. I also desperately need their support and encouragement. We came up with a plan at our impromptu lunch on Saturday. We decided that whatever bar/restaurant we ended up at they would snag the bartender/server away from where everyone was and tell them that the girl with the tiara gets NA drinks - no matter what she orders.
Throughout the evening I had 2 vodka tonics (sprite w/lime), 2 vodka cranberries (cranberry w/tonic water), and a lemon drop shot (exceedingly sweet lemonade). My sister was so dissappointed in me because I got tired at 11 and wanted to go home to Mr.M. All I could say to her was "you'll understand someday". Which pissed her off more because she thought I was saying that she would understand when she gets married. Like I was being incredibly condescending.
The truth is - I'm anxiety ridden. Mr. M is in vegas for a work convention and has been gone since Sunday morning at 4:00 am. My boobs hurt, my stomach has been squeezing the life out of me, and I've had some SERIOUS diarrhea. Sorry, I'm sure that's TMI. My nipples are constantly hard and hurt like hell. I called the Dr. hoping to be able to get an appt to confirm the pregnancy. They said they don't usually see people till 10 - 12 weeks because then they can hear a heartbeat at that time.
HOLY CRAP PEOPLE. Please tell me I'm not the only woman who has ever felt this way. I feel like I'm the only one who has found out they were pregnant BEFORE the morning sickness started. I'm having trouble breathing and I'm having even more trouble thinking. Every thought of everyday is dominated by pregnancy or wedding.
I know I'll survive but this is so un-believeable.