Done - You Think You Are Done?!?!

Silly silly little pregnant girl - you are nowhere NEAR done.

So I've been getting some energy back and have been surfing some of the other pregnant ladies blogs out there. I'm a fiend about reading birth stories - what can I say, I work in Research for a reason - and it ain't for the money.

I've even managed to make it to the gym twice! Both times I did about a mile and a half on the treadmill walking at a speed of 3 - 3.5. Then I got on the bike and did about another 20 minutes with some stretches to round out the whole experience. I feel like I'm not really working out - probably because I'm comparing it to those weightloss workouts where I'd be dripping sweat and panting after my hour of cardio and then slam some weights around.

So I was feeling pretty good - even skipped a few days on the nausea meds. I thought - I'm definitely coming out of this - I'm in the clear! WRONG WRONG WRONG.

I threw up last night after the gym and began shaking uncontrollably. Then I threw up again this morning while brushing my teeth - I SWEAR I did not touch my tongue and still my stomach was seizing and I was throwing up bile. When I put the last week or two together - I haven't gone more than a day without throwing up at least once. So, I guess my feelings of being out of this puke induced haze are merely wishful thinking.

We went to our first OB appt with the Dr. yesterday morning. She's smart and a bit of joker (which I looooove), she's very matter-o-fact and seems to know her shit. One concern that sits at the back of my mind is that she has already brushed off my comments about anxiety and fear of needles/pain. My biggest requirement of a Dr. is that they validate what I'm feeling. When I tell them I get severe anxiety I need them to take that seriously - not wisk me away and say "put it out of your mind, you won't be thinking about that when the time comes." I feel like grabbing them by the shoulders and shaking them hard and saying, "NO, I'M TALKING PASS OUT AND HYPERVENTILATE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

I try to keep calm and continue reading whatever I can get my hands on regarding birthing options and birth stories. Some of my friends/family warn me about reading so much saying I'm gonna get myself all worked up for no reason. For me its about having all the information and being prepared for my journey regardless of how it ends up happening for me. I want to know what all the terms are and what each drug is used for. I want to read what worked for some women and what didn't for others. I may not need the info in the end but there is no reason not to arm myself with the knowledge.

We heard the heartbeat and it was clear as a bell this time. No digging around not being able to find it. She went straight to the spot saying that at about 13 weeks the baby is right above the pelvic bone because it's starting to make its way upward out of the pelvis. Junior came in at a 142 BPM and the average is between 140 and 160, so he/she is doing lovely. My bloodwork came back impeccable - which I wasn't surprised about, I'm a relatively healthy woman, I come from a hearty midwestern upbringing and am usually pretty active.

Doc says another week or two and I'll be feeling night and day different. Lets hope she's right about that one.