Our Father's Daughters
My dear friend had her scheduled C-section on Monday morning by noon I got the call that she and baby were happy, healthy and considerably calm. She said it was the best day ever - but lets remember she was drugged. hehe.
Throughout my life I have had a hard time explaining the relationship that I have with my dad with other people. Emy is the only one who has ever understood it because she herself has the exact same situation. Her father is her rock, her constant cheering section, her ever present source of love and support. She is the only one I've ever known to share the same bond with her father that I do with mine.
Last night I was visiting her at the hospital for the second time this week. I made sure that this time it would be low key and I wouldn't be fighting for baby time or for her time. Her mom and dad were going to be coming a bit after me, which was cool with me because I hadn't really seen them in a long time. We were always close - they always treated me as one of their own and loved me as such.
I brought dinner for Em and her husband as I knew they were dying with all the hospital food. I snuggled that baby and kissed his smooth baby cheeks, and I sang songs with her older boy (1 1/2). Her parents came in about an hour after me and entered with a burst of happiness. Their older son was beaming when grandma and grandpa came in - squealing with joy. Her mom snatched up the baby and just cooed and ogled over her lovely new grandson. As did her dad.
Then - Emy's dad came over to her - this grown woman who has now given birth to 2! boys - and gave her the most giant hug. I saw her face turn into the one I knew at 10 years old and further back. She regressed right in front of me to a near 5 year old sagging into his hug.
He whispered to her, "I'm so proud of you!" She looked back like she got an A+ on her report card and was watching him put it on the refrigerator for all to see.
She said, "Thanks Daddy - I tried hard."
I saw myself in her - and I wondered, how did our fathers create this bond with us? How did they make us feel like their praise and pride in what we do mattered more than any other thing on earth? How did they manage to NEVER let us down? and more importantly - how did we get so damn lucky?
I want that for my child more than anyone will ever know. I want them to know that we are their constant cheering section, their never ending source of love and support. I want to watch my husband be proud of my daughter and I want her to beam with self pride, knowing that her Daddy loves her more than he could love any other thing in the world.
I have no experience of watching this from Mother to son - but I only hope that I can give that as well. I especially don't know what this relationship looks like from mother to daughter but I hope and I pray that I will know how to give that to my girl (if I have one).
Most of all - I can't wait to get that same hug from my Daddy in July, "I'm so proud of you."
I'm trying Daddy - I'm trying hard.