Friday, September 30, 2005

Generosity Exposed

Mr. M is one of the most generous people I know. He gives without question and without expectation. He gives and never brings up payment ever again. He just gives.

This, is a lovely quality to have in a partner. I respect this side of him immensely, however, I hate to watch him get taken advantage of.

Now, don't get me wrong he is a VERY smart business man. VERY. He makes money in almost every business venture he has taken part in. He's excellent at making money and has the most impeccable credit, credit card companies drool over him.

He gave his friend $3000 when he needed it. I would say however, that he needed to just get a job, whatever job he could find and then Mr.M would give him whatever he needed to supplement that. Mr. M just gave it though, and asked no questions. He has YET to ask for him to pay it back - it has been a year.

Mr. M's sister is the opposite of him. She's a pot smoking, hippy, with no job, single mother, never been married, etc etc. Go ahead and paint the stereo-typical picture of her and you've got it exactly right. He gave her 3K 5 years ago because she said she was going to school and needed the money. He didn't ask questions, he didn't request that the bills from school come directly to him, he just gave it to her. Naturally he has yet to be paid back and no school was ever attended.

Today he sent me a copy of an email she sent yesterday and it just sickens me. This woman has NEVER called him on the phone. NEVER. The last time she called was for the 3K for school. He visits her and his niece once a year and pays for everything when he's there. Food, hotel, car, presents etc. So she is now asking him to pay her rent this month because she has a cold and took some "antihistamine" and lost her wallet which had her rent money in it. Which believe translates to: I smoked a bunch of weed and don't really want to get a job so could you pay my rent and I can continue living off the government?.

I asked him what he was gonna do and implied no judgement and offered no suggestions. He said, "give her the money of course."

I'm amazed and saddened.

Is he enabling her? or do I need to learn what it means to truly love someone from this man?


At 5:58 PM, Anonymous Amy said...

If she asked for $3000 (or any other amount) every month, do you think he would give it to her? I think enabling would be if he paid for everything, all the time.

I also know of people who never loan friends money - they just give it to them. No expectations of getting it back. That eliminates any resentment and having to hire someone to blow their kneecaps off if they don't pay up.


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