Friday, June 10, 2005

The Pang of Pain Forgotten

Email from brother:

In other news I heard from Emily that she wants to tell you about something important and you are supposed to give her a call.

Email from me responding:

FUCK HER! She knows how to get ahold of me. I'm done.


Which brings me to this post.

I called my brother after I received this email and asked about what his communication with her might have entailed to warrant such a message. After some pointed questions... he admitted that she didn't say I was supposed to give her a call but that he was trying to trick me into calling her.

Everyone seems to want me to rekindle this relationship. My question is WHY. Why must I once again do the reconnecting?? Last time I reconnected it got me no where. In fact, I've made ALL of the reconnects. I suppose she's started to figure that eventually I'll fold and make the phone call.

I told my bro that if he wants he can respond to her and if he doesn't want to he can do that too. What I told him to say if he so chooses is this: Suz doesn't know your number, your address, your cell phone #, or anything about you anymore. So if you want to tell her something, I guess that would be your responsibility to call her. Since her number hasn't changed nor her last name.

He confessed that what she really had said was that she should really call me. That she should really get around to calling me. Everyone she meets that knows me she says this same thing, " I should really call Suz, I've been meaning to call her"

Bro says that she's spineless and scared of what I might say. I'm sorry, but It's no longer my responsibility to make sure you feel comfortable Emily. You did some shitty stuff, so why don't you own up to it already. OWN IT! Own your awful passive aggressive things you've done.

Own the fact that you didn't have me in your wedding
Own the fact that you didn't have me sing at your wedding (like we always planned)
Own the fact that you didn't even INVITE me to your wedding (after a lifetime of friendship)
Own the fact that you have neglected to respond to any of my attempts for communication
Own the fact that the reason we don't talk is because of YOU
Own the fact that you have changed your name, phone number, address and everything else so how in the world would I even be able to find you?

Own the fact that you are a terrible friend and you will never again have a friend like me.

This is NOT my fault that I don't know you Emily. This is your fault pure and simple. If you have information that I need to know... like one of our mutual friends died or you're hurting or you're pregnant or you're getting divorced or WHATEVER! it's your responsibility to pick up the damn phone and dial my number.

Because you know what, Emily, ??? I will no longer be owning any of your guilt. I have enough of my own thank you.



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