Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Friends Making Bad Choices

I have had many a best friend in my life. The reason for the rotating door of best friend's is simple.

I can't watch people make bad choices.

First there was Brooke. She was this Bible beating, God fearing, virgin who I was best friend's with from about 8th through 10th grade. I was fine with her prophetic ways as long as she didn't mess with my ways.

She ended up tryin to mess with my ways, and slowly parted as friendships do. I'll never forget the horror that she felt when she found out I had (GASP!) lost my virginity to my boyfriend of two years.

Then came Emily. We were inseparable. I had idolized her from the moment I met her in 6th grade until the moment she fell from her pedestal sometime in my 20's. We played basketball together which was our initial draw. She ended up idolizing my musical abilities while I idolized her physical beauty and ability to draw men to her.

Yes, I had my fair share of boyfriends, in fact I don't believe I've ever been single longer than 9-10 months. She, however, had boys literally swooning for her. They would vi for her attention, send her flowers, beg her to take them back and so on and so forth until you want to vomit.

However, I eventually came to terms with the fact that she made some awful choices. She ended up being a total stranger and not at all like the girl I had made up in my mind she was supposed to be and we ended our friendship on rather heart broken terms. You will see me write letters to Emily from time to time here - that is the only way I talk to her anymore. No, she doesn't know about this site, and yes I've tried to regain the friendship. The ball is in her court - literally.

Then there was Jody, who wasn't much of a best friend but rather my backup during my card dealing days. We gravitated towards each other and had some fun. She had an AWFUL husband, who had hit her in the past. I hated him, and refused to be scared. He didn't like this much. He was used to people cowering in fear... sorry ass hole... not this chick.

We slowly parted ways due to the fact that I told her I will not discuss her bad marriage with her anymore until she's ready to get out of it. Then she'd get all the help in the world from me.

She did end up divorcing him. And promptly latching onto another deadbeat. I couldn't do it anymore, and let the friendship fade.

Now, my BFF is Nene. We suffered through quite a bit together: bad romances, drunkin nights, choir rehearsals from hell, roommates from hell, 911 calls, and four years of college. We usually are great as friends, she lives in WI, which is about 45 minutes away but I think I see her more than some of my family. We have a standing engagement for dinner once a week.

She understands people's need for space and I am starting to understand her need for seclusion. She's an only child and as such tends to be quite an introvert. We work well together because we'd drop everything if the other one needed it but we also don't need to talk everyday.

She's starting to make some very awful choices though. BY that I mean, bad men choices. She's always picked some awful dudes, but now she recognizes her natural draw to alcoholics and non-committal boys and STILL finds them.

Her most recent trend is dating guys from work. Guys that are not interested in having a relationship, that drink too much, that are MARRIED (yes, married), and that more importantly treat her like shit. Yet, she's drawn to them.

How do you tell a friend, she's gotta knock this crap off without being a total bitch??

I'm really too old to be finding myself a new best friend.


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