Sunday, March 20, 2005

Most Married People Do It More Than Us

We haven't had sex since last weekend and I got SNUBBED this weekend.

In the beginning we did what most new loves do, have sex three times a night go to work exhausted but glowing and not missing the sleep at all. It was exciting and we tried all kinds of positions and ways to pleasure each other. He used to LOVE when I'd climax even more than his own .

Slowly it dissapated. Naturally that happens, I know. But it's gotten unbearable.

I should mention that there is a significant age difference amongst us. I'm 25 he's 39. I refuse to let that be the reason.

I resigned myself to the idea that we'd have sex four times a month. Once every weekend. Not scheduled times or anything, it just seems to make the most sense for both of us. He usually goes in a bit late to work on Saturday or Sunday.

I need it. I'm young, vibrant, and sexual. I'm worried that we'll become "best friends" instead of lovers. Sex is a vital part of the relationship I want to have. I've expressed my unhappiness in this area of our relationship.

His response is usually "I'm not NOT having sex with you on purpose, I just don't think of it".

When I remind him that it's getting to be a bit of a drought in the sex area. He complains that he can't have sex on command and it seems false and impersonal.

So, we're at an impass. How do I explain to him that this is one of my needs without seeming too pushy. I know he doesn't like the feeling of doing something purely because I asked him to do it. I can understand that it feels like you're going through the motions like you're being directed to enjoy it.

I'm pretty sure most married people do it more than us.


At 10:06 PM, Anonymous Ursula said...

Men tend to get performance anxiety went you bring up sex or the lack thereof, so I would be somewhat indirect when it comes to achieving your goal. One way to do that is to surprise him with a nice romantic dinner and then let the evening play itself out.


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