Poop Is Not My Friend

Dear Friend,
Please do not ask me to come and babysit from 4-midnight on a Saturday night and not show up till 1:30. I will not appreciate it - trust me. Especially if I have to drive my boyfriend to the airport at 5:30 in the morning.

I know you are thing that "hey it's daylight savings time" and that "hey she won't mind she's our friend" but trust me I will mind and I will be very pissed off. I will be even more pissed off if I have to change not one but TWO poopy diapers while I am at your home. Not just simple poopy diapers either. One of the poopy diapers will be so bad it is smeared up the boys back and legs. It will be so bad that I will have to wash my hands repeatedly to get the poop smell off of them.

I will not appreciate this either.

This will make me never want to babysit for you again. Sure you're boys are smart, clever, and lovely. They will snuggle and give kisses. Nothing, however, will ever help me recover from the amount of poop I had to clean up. It may even cause me to think twice about those children I have been so craving having lately.

I will say that although you have almost ruined my evening by the poop and the lateness my dear boy will still come through by spending a good three hours with me "keeping me company". I will remind myself at the end of the evening that it is better to be loved by him than to ever have children and clean up poop.

Thank you for reminding me of this crucial point.

Just one more tip of advice, my dear friend - would you mind calling next time you plan to be an hour and a half late home from an already poop filled evening of babysitting? Not to be a bitch or anything - but let me remind you for the 3rd time that I do have to be up at 5:30 in the morning to take my dear boy to the airport.

Thank You SO much for the much needed birth control evening at your home.

Regards,
Suzanne