Warning: Cool Shoes Don't Blend In

I'm a very regular girl. No no no no.. I don't mean just regular regular. I mean, I hit the bathroom at exactly 10:00AM everyday to poo.

Yes, I'm sorry fellow co-workers, but I can't help that my body has it's own time schedule and that it just happens to feel the need during your work day. Trust me I would rather be in the comfort of my own bathroom too.

There is a problem though, with the whole 10:00 AM thing.

You see, I wear cool shoes. I always wear interesting colors or styles . Everyone comments, "cute shoes!" I have pink low top converse, red/black Mary Jane Doc. Martens, Patent Leather Franco Sarto Loafers, Aqua slip on 2 inch heel sandals, and the list goes on.

My shoes don't blend in. I don't blend in.

So, when I enter the bathroom for my 10AM appointment, I check under all the stalls. If their are feet anywhere. I postpone the meeting due to crowding.

Because, you see... I like to do my business alone. Is that too much to ask?

I know, that if I go in there and sit down, people can see my shoes. By seeing my shoes they know it's me in there. Which means, they also know that stench is coming from me as well as the occasional, dare I say, sounds.

Maybe this is childish. Maybe I need to read the book "Everybody Poops" again. I just need a little privacy to attend to such matters.

Either that, or start wearing boring shoes.