The big 155 appeared on the scale this morning. I haven’t seen that number since last May when we went on our “weight loss challenge”. For those of you playing along at home that means I’ve put on 15 lbs and I’m 22w3d pregnant. Yea I know I’m on target and yea I know it’s part of the deal but it’s still a harsh reality.
You can convince yourself that it’s for the health of the baby and you’re doing everything right and that the number doesn’t matter lalalalala. Phooey. We’re women, we’re affected by such things – it’s our nature. Bottom line is – I’m going to be seeing numbers I’ve never seen before when I get on that scale and it’s going to take quite a bit of self affirmation to convince myself it’s a non-issue.
I’m slathering on anti-stretch mark lotion like it’s going out of style – even though realistically I know this does nothing to help/hurt my chances of stretch marks. I know people swear up and down by the creams, oils, lotions, and potions but do you have any way of proving that you WOULD have gotten them had you NOT slathered? Not likely. Either way I’ll continue slathering and hope that my mother’s good genes will pass on to me.
I’m rather ‘over’ this whole pregnancy thing at this point. Time is not going fast enough – but at the same time it’s flying by. I’m over the half way point but still feel like the mountain is high and I’ve merely made it over the first foothill. I did the pukey, miserable, 1st trimester thing and then I did the superwoman 2nd trimester thing. Now here I sit teetering at the 5 – 6 month range and feeling like I’d just like to GET THERE ALREADY.
I see my midwife for the first time next Friday which is actually 5 weeks from my last appointment. That could have something to do with my feeling that things are lagging. I find that when I’m about 3 weeks out from my last appointment I start getting restless. I want to hear that heartbeat again just for comfort. She’s kicking and moving – but Mr. M hasn’t really felt her and that bums me out. I want him to feel connected too.
We start our birthing classes towards the end of April. I’m just hoping I’m not feeling like it’s all redundant with all the research I’ve already done. It would really bum me out if we talked about the elementary stuff the whole time: “This is your vagina, this is how big it will get, the end”. I’m more interested in different birthing positions, counter-pressure massage to use during labor, and what do contractions REALLY feel like.
When we went on the hospital tour – yes we went already (2 months ago) – no I’m not ashamed of my over-achieving nature. I was appalled to hear one of the women (who looked to be about 8.5 months pregnant) ask what meconium was. WTF?! You haven’t read about that yet? Are you in denial? Did you know you’re pregnant?
I know I know – most women aren’t like me and prefer to avoid all that stuff. My best friend is a prime example. She feels if she doesn’t know about it – she can’t fear it – and then she’s all happy happy. That would literally drive me insane and I’d pass right out from sheer panic when I found myself in a situation that I wasn’t completely knowledgeable about what was going on. But to each her own.