Saturday, January 08, 2005


For some reason by the time Mr. M came home from work today I was crabby as hell. I hate cleaning, washing clothes, tidying up. I JUST HATE IT.

I will never enjoy these tasks, ever!

Maybe I was crabby because of that. Maybe I feel like I'm not connecting with Mr. M lately. I think I'm overly sensitive to my life being routine especially complacency.

My parents were married for 25 years. That's a long time. They had three children. All I can remember about their interactions where that they were overly necessity driven. By that I mean all conversation was about:
what's for dinner
who cleaned the kitchen
who's gonna clean the bathroom
who's picking up the kid's at soccer, bball, dance, etc
etc etc etc.

We had a routine growing up like most families do I'm sure. Wake up, shower, get dressed, clean your room, make your bed, eat breakfast, go to school/work, come home have a snack do home work make dinner eat dinner wash dishes watch some tv go to sleep. REPEAT

I feel this was the demise of my parent's marriage. I mean, not the WHOLE reason. But definitely a contributing factor. They lost the part of the relationship that makes it work. Communication. Not about the daily tasks. but about love, life, philosophy, passions, needs, wants.
Maybe I'm 25 and naive. Maybe I dont know what makes a marriage/long term relationship work. But the fear is still there. When it starts to get mundane or routine I panic. I make him talk to me.

Now I'm just rambling...

guess I'll go take a bubble bath.



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